The last piece of the rock that was Claypot crumbled around me last weekend. I didn't see it coming, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

I honestly don't know what that means for us, but I think both Jian and I have the feeling that although there's very little reason for us to stay in CPBC, neither of us feel like we're being called to leave - as far as I'm concerned, that means we're IN LIMBO.

A state which seriously disturbs me.

... ...

And so now we pray.

What's up with the 1 year, Lord?

I remember when Jian and I first started dating, I'd feel very stingy...stingy over time - not wanting to spend an extra  minute at work, but wanting (desperately, at times) to spending that time with him instead. That feeling grew less strong over the course of the 2+ years that we were dating, especially when we were both caught up with the wedding preps and all our time spent together was in the name of THE WEDDING.

So I thought that once we were married, perhaps that feeling would pop up even less - since I could now, literally, stare at him the whole night if I wanted to. But I find that the case is really quite the opposite. 

Perhaps it's just cos I'm going HOME. 

I've been wanting to blog many times now, but everytime, I sit down at the computer, I realise that I dun quite know where to begin.... Events over the last month plus have completely overwhelmed me. Not in a bad way. But I think I'm still trying to surface to ride the wave.

I love being married to Jian but life's been so different since I said "I do" and the lil mundane things still make me wonder how I came to be a wifey. Things like fiddling with the ring on my finger and realising that it's now a simple band without a rock on top; waking up in the middle of the night and realising that there's someone beside me; trying to decide in the morning whether barley or chrysanthemum should be the drink of the day; going into the shower and finding the shampoo bottle cap open (again!)...the list goes on.

I think Jian's adjusting much better and quicker to the changes than I am and he's really been making every effort to ease the transition for me which makes me wanna pat myself on the back for having married him. *grin*

Now if only there was something I could take to turn me from swinging (undomesticated) single girl to a Super Wifey...

It's less than a month to THE DAY and I'm a grumpus today. Suddenly things seem not quite how I wanted it to be or had in mind initially and the bridezilla in me goes *RAWWRRR*

Maybe it's just cos I woke up exhausted this morning.

Ok, taking a step back, I know that I took a very practical approach to this whole wedding thing. I refused to get suck into the whole "once in a lifetime" nonsense which would result in us being bled dry by all the wedding vendors. That attitude shaped a few decisions which would actually rear its snippy head every now and then and bit me in the butt, making me feel, well.....how I feel now.

But I know that I'd probably regret it even more if I'd let myself get sucked into it cos more often than not, my take to the whole wedding is that it's only ONE DAY in my life and whatever that is worn or used on that day, is gonna see the light of day for only a few hours at most so I'd rather go with something that I'm happy (and not necessarily ecstatic ) with and spend the money saved on our honeymoon and/or our apartment.

Da sista says I'm being totally unromantic about it...even if she can see the logic of it all.

...

Ok, time to snap out of this and focus on the important thing - that I'm getting a groom for my wedding that I wouldn't swop for anything! =)

We've been faffing about for awhile as to whether we should get vaccinations done for our Argentina trip especially since none of the vaccinations were compulsory but only recommended. It wasn't a biggie for Jian, but for needle-phobic me, it was a mental thing...

So even after having a few months to mentally prep myself for it, I could still feel my heart go "bi-ding, bo-ding" in double quick time when the nurse told us that it'll be 4 jabs for us to get all the recommended vaccinations. But the nurse who administered the jabs was amazing at her job and it was over before I knew it.  

It felt a bit embarassing to have the nurse talk to me like I was a lil girl - oh, we're done! you're such a brave girl! do you want a gummi? - but it did make me feel better....and of cos, I did feel like less of a kid when Jian went "can I have a gummi too?"  =p